A Seed of Doubt
by Ritsuka Elric
Summary: What are you supposed to do when your little brother admits he's in love with both you and your lover? RoyEd, Elricest, Al--Roy


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A/N: This is dedicated to Amber and Ashley, who I roleplay with. Love you both!!

* * *

Ed noticed that recently Al had seemed…depressed.

It was especially obvious whenever Roy was over. Even though the lovers tried their best not to get too personal or even touch, Al still blushed whenever they were all in the same room together.

Ed guessed it was just his body adjusting to the sudden onset of four years worth of hormones. After all, he blushed around Winry and her tiny shirt as well, though not nearly as much.

Still, that didn't explain the sadness in his normally bright silver eyes. On top of that, on some nights he could hear Al crying in his room, though the younger one never talked about it. Ed wouldn't know what to say anyway.

Ed sighed and traced familiar patterns along Roy's bare chest. The man captured the boy's hand in his own, kissing his fingers gently.

"What's wrong, baby?" Roy whispered against Ed's flesh. "You're awfully quiet…for once."

Ed growled weakly. "Shut up," he muttered. "I'm just…worried about Al. He seems so sad all the time."

Roy hummed in response. "Alphonse does seem down," he agreed.

They were silent for a few moments, each lost in their own thoughts.

Ed remembered a few weeks after Al had been restored. He watched as Al took his first full steps by himself. "Look, Brother, I'm walking!" he had cried happily, then immediately fell over on top of Ed.

Ed had laughed as he rubbed Al's brunette head from the floor. Al had giggled hysterically as well, his cheek against his brother's chest.

But now Al never laughed. His eyes were black with depression, and he shied away from everyone's touch, especially his brother's.

* * *

Ed finally couldn't take it anymore.

Al had been crying a lot more recently, his choked sobs heard whenever he thought no one was around. It broke Ed's heart to know that his brother wasn't happy.

When Ed returned from Roy's that night, he heard Al crying in the kitchen. He all but ran into the small room, finding his brother hunched over the table, his shoulders heaving with his sobs.

Ed felt like a million knives were piercing his heart as he wrapped his arms around Al's thin shoulders. The brunette gasped and started, his eyes flying to the blonde's face.

And Ed's heart sank, his stomach filling with lead. Al's eyes were bloodshot and darker than ever. Tears slid like waterfalls down his cheeks, staining his beautiful face.

"Oh, Al," Ed whispered, wiping the tears away. "What's wrong?"

Al ignored the question. "I thought you were staying the night at the General's."

"Roy had some stuff he needed to do, so I came home," Ed informed him. "But that's not important. Why are you crying?"

Al tried to pull away, his cheeks red, but Ed pulled him closer against his chest.

"It's nothing, Brother," Al muttered, an obvious lie. "I'm fine."

Ed ran his fingers through Al's hair, pulling out tangles. "I know its not nothing. Lately you've been acting….well, heart broken. Did you love a girl but have her turn you down or something?"

Al looked away. "….More or less."

Ed studied his expression. "That's not all, is it?"

Al said nothing, but his cheeks flushed. More tears fell from his eyes.

Ed caught them before they went too far. "Al, you can tell me anything. You…know that, right?"

Al gave a shuddering breath. "I know that, but…it's so hard. I hurt so much."

Ed swallowed hard against the lump in his throat.

"I…I'm in love with more than one person. But they're taken. Both of them. Besides, none of them can ever love me back."

Ed rubbed circles into his brother's back. "You don't know that."

"Yes, I do. It will never happen."

"No, I'm serious. Before Roy and I started dating, he was with some one else. But he secretly loved me, and when I told him my feelings, he left the girl for me, and well…we're very much in love now…What I'm saying is, you never know until you try. Either one of these girls could feel the same. It happened for me and Roy. It can happen for you too."

For some reason, it looked as if Al felt more pained than before.

"You just don't understand," Al whispered. "It will never happen."

Ed sighed. "Why don't you tell me who you're in love with, and I'll put in a good word for you," he suggested.

Al shook his head and tried to leave again, but Ed held tight.

"Please don't make me tell," Al pleaded in a small voice. "You'll hate me."

Ed laughed quietly. "I won't hate you, Al. I never could."

"You would," Al insisted. "I know you would."

Ed put his hands on Al's cheeks. "I sincerely promise, with all my heart, that I would never- _could _ never- hate you. At all."

"Okay," Al finally agreed.

Ed waited.

"I-I love…" Al's voice wavered and faded.

"You love who, Al?" Ed prompted.

"I-I'm in love with you and Roy!"

Al clamped his hands over his mouth, looking horrified, as Ed just stared.

After of moment, Ed slid his arms from his brother's waist, moving away silently. Tears filled Al's black eyes once more, and he made a low cry of pain as they fell.

"I'm so sorry, Brother," Al sobbed.

"Alphonse," Ed began quietly. "You know I don't care that you're gay, but Roy is my lover and I amyour _brother._ "

"I know," Al choked out.

"Roy loves me."

"I know…"

"Incest is _wrong._ "

"I _know_ …I'm sorry. So very sorry."

"You can't have these feelings for me and Roy. You have to get rid of them."

"I know all this, okay?!" Al screamed suddenly. "I _know _ I'm sick and disgusting, and that you hate me now, even though you promised you wouldn't!"

Shaking with sobs, Al got up and ran out the door, slamming it behind him.

Ed didn't bother trying to stop him or run after him.

He was too wrapped up in the strange thoughts that were picking at his mind…

* * *

Al still hadn't returned when the first rays of light pierced the night sky.

Ed wasn't concerned. Al would come back, he always did.

He was too busy thinking about his dream, anyway.

Ed had managed to fall asleep for about half an hour, during which time he dreamed that he was kissing Al and enjoying it. He immediately woke up feeling disgusted with himself, and tried to right it off as a reaction to Al's love confession.

There couldn't possibly be any other explanation.

* * *

At noon, Al still hadn't returned.

But Ed remained uninterested. The dream wouldn't go away, no matter what he did. He even tried wanking off to Roy's image in his mind, but as he came, it was his brother he thought of, not his lover.

He must be going crazy.

* * *

An hour passed and still there was no sign of Al.

Ed was sitting on his bed, his eyes never leaving a picture of the brunette that rest on his lap.

It was taken a few days before Al became depressed. Ed sat on the edge of Al's bed, an arm slung easily around his brother's shoulders. Al was holding Ed close as well, both brothers showing bright smiles for the camera.

Ed ran a finger across his brother's face. He'd never realized just how beautiful Al was.

The blond couldn't help remembering how his heart had skipped a beat after Al admitted his feelings.

And what had that feeling been?

For a second, it had felt as if he were flying; like nothing was wrong in the world.

The only other times he'd felt that way were during his and Roy's first kiss and the first time they fucked.

It was a feeling of deep love.

But that couldn't be it. Al was his _brother, _ for fuck's sake, and besides, he loved Roy!

Though no matter how many times he repeated those words in his mind, he couldn't shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe….

* * *

2:13 found Ed strewn over the toilet seat, puking his guts out.

He didn't think it was even possible. He hadn't had anything to eat.

But there was definitely something wrong with Ed. Why else would he be having these thoughts about his little brother

He had dozed off again, this time imagining Al naked with his legs spread wide, moaning and screaming "Brother!" as Ed's member entered him.

Ed swayed as another wave of nausea washed over him, but his stomach had nothing left to give.

He wiped his mouth with his sleeve, resting his cheek against the cool porcelain of the toilet seat and wrapping his arms around his stomach . "Go away," he whispered desperately at the image of Al writhing and panting in his mind.

But it didn't listen, and Ed felt like crying.

He loved _Roy, _ damn it, so why was he having these thoughts? And about his brother, his _baby brother, _ who'd he already taken so much from!

So _did _ he love Al as more than a brother?

Fuck no.

….Right?

* * *

_I love him! Fuck, I fucking LOVE HIM!_

Ed's mind screamed at him as he ran down the moonlit street.

Ed's lungs were shrieking with pain, but he didn't care. He had to see Roy _now!_ Roy! _How can I love Al, too?_ brother!

I love

My own

But Ed finally knew it was true. He loved them both.

Though at six-thirty pm with still no sign of Al, Ed knew he had lost his brother forever.

__

It's best this way,

Ed thought.

_I'll be with Roy, and he'll forget about us, get married, and have lots of cute kids that look exactly like him._

Still, that's not what Ed really wanted. He wanted the freedom to love them both; to wake up in the mornings and have them both by his side. He wanted to kiss Al and make love to him, and tell him that he loved him every day.

It couldn't happen. Ed still loved Roy, after all. That would never change.

Was it possible to love two people at once?

It might be. Al had said loved both Roy and Ed, and now Ed didn't doubt that possibility one bit.

Ed arrived at Roy's house a few minutes later and started pounding on the door. "Roy!" he yelled, not caring about or even noticing the curious neighbors peaking from their windows. "Open up, please!" He barely registered how desperate he sounded.

The door swung open and Roy, a confused look on his face, appeared.

"Roy," Ed choked out at the sight of his lover, then burst in to tears.

Roy had him in his arms in a flash, pulling him inside and closing the door. "Shh, baby, it's alright," the man whispered, petting the top of a blond head. "What happened?"

"Oh, Roy!" Ed sobbed in to the general's shirt. "I-I think Al ran away!"

Ed felt Roy stiffen. "What do you mean, Fullmetal?"

The boy winced at his given name. "Well, he and I had a fight last night, and he left, and I haven't seen him since." Ed sniffed.

Roy grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back. "And you're just starting to worry now?!" Roy shouted. "It's been twenty-four hours! He could be long gone by now!"

Ed started sobbing harder. "I know! I'm a horrible brother!"

Roy sighed and pulled the blond against his chest again. "Don't say that…"

"If Al gets hurt, it's all my fault!"

"Listen, Edward, for now we'll start with the railroad station. If he took a train, maybe we can find someone who saw which one."

Ed swallowed heavily and wiped his eyes. "Okay…"

* * *

"Alright, Ed, you take the south side, and I'll go north, alright?"

"Roger."

They had arrived at the train station.

Ed ran up to the teller and slammed his hands on the desk, making her jump. "Excuse me-" he rushed. "Have you seen a boy about my height with long brown hair in a ponytail wearing a black jacket and black pants?!"

She thought for a moment, then replied, "Do you mean the one with the black eyes?"

"Yes!" Ed didn't know whether or not to be relieved. "Do you know which train he got on?"

The teller smiled. "Oh, no, honey, he didn't get on a train. Strange one, actually…he bought a ticket for the first train today, but instead of getting on, he just sat there, staring at the ground. I think he was crying…"

Ed's heart skipped a beat.

"He's still here, if you're looking for him. Right over there."

She pointed behind Ed. He turned around, as his heart began again when he saw him, as everything fell in to place.

Ed ran to his brother, grabbing him and pulling him close. Al cried, "Brother!", visibly shocked.

Ed's eyes stung with unshed tears of relief. "You _idiot,_ " he muttered in a choked voice. "Don't _ever _ leave me like that again!"

"I-I don't understand," Al whispered, starting to cry. "Don't you hate me now? Because I love you and Roy?"

Ed pulled back to hold Al's cheeks in his palms, a gentle, loving smile on his lips.

"I can't hate you, Alphonse," Ed laughed. "I mean, when you left, I realized something…I'm in love with you, too."

Al's eyes widened.

"B-but Brother," he stammered. "What about Roy?"

Ed stroked Al's skin with his thumb, delighting in its warmth. "I still love him, but I can't deny my feelings for you any longer."

Al looked away. "You're just making fun of me, aren't you?"

Ed shook his head. "I wouldn't do that," he insisted. "I'm in really in love with you." He took a deep breath. "I'll even prove it to you."

"But how?" Al pleaded.

Ed only hesitated for a second more before he bent down and gently pressed his lips against the brunette's.

It was everything he'd dreamed of that day. Al's lips were soft and tasted of honey, matching his sweet personality.

Soon, though, Ed had to pull away for air. He was saddened when he broke the kiss, but the deep blush and beautiful smile that lit up Al's face made it all worth while.

Al opened his eyes, still grinning. "So….you love me," he echoed.

Ed grinned back. "That's right." He took his brother's hands in his own. "I love you, Al."

Suddenly, the smile slid off Al's face, and tears filled his eyes again. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

Ed frowned and sat on the bench, wrapping the brunette up in his arms, all the while ignoring the stares of passerby.

"Listen, Al," he murmured in the younger one's ear. "I didn't just fall in love with you today and decide to act on it. I…I've realized that I've loved you for a long time. I've just been suppressing it, since I have Roy, and…well…I never expected you to feel the same. But…when you told mw your feelings last night, my love broke through all the restraints I'd set. I'm free to love you now."

Al stared at him, blushing, then hesitantly tilted his face up, brushing his lips against Ed's. Ed smiled and deepened the kiss, feeling Al wrap his arms around his neck, his face still burning.

Ed didn't care that people were staring and making disgusted noises. He didn't care that soon he may have to break Roy's heart.

He was happy.

* * *

"So…what now, Brother?"

The two were looking for Roy at the northern side of the train station, Ed's arm thrown easily around Al's shoulders in what he hoped was a brotherly way.

Ed squeezed Al tight, then replied, "We'll talk to Roy tonight and ask him to take you as his lover. After all, you love him too, right?"

Al nodded swiftly, then asked, "What if he says no?"

"You'll still have me," Ed promised. "I'll never leave you."

Al frowned. "I don't want him to be mad at you…"

"He'll get over it….eventually…I think."

Al giggled, making Ed smile.

Ed moved his hand to take Al's momentarily. "I promise you, Al, that I'll always love you. No matter what happens now, that will never change."

Al blushed and smiled, entwining their fingers together. "Well, then, here's to forever."

Ed nodded. "Forever," he agreed.

* * *

-_Fin_ -

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